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The lounge Relax, take a break from photo and camera talk - have a chat about something else for a change. Just keep it clean and polite!

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Old 8th July 2019
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Zuiko Zuiko is offline
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Talking A day in the diary of a BMW driver

I saw this on Facebook and couldn't resist!


A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver

"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driverís licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "
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Old 8th July 2019
Rokey Rokey is offline
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Although a few years ago, I drove BMWs for many years. I’m sure I don’t recognize any of the references in that story...

It amused me though.
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Old 9th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

I have a BMW
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Old 9th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Good job the BMW driver did not get the headlights in the rear mirror experience from a big Audi
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Old 9th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

I'm happy with my diesel Volvo.
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Old 9th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

ditto ditto
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Old 9th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

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Originally Posted by Rokey View Post
Although a few years ago, I drove BMWs for many years. Iím sure I donít recognize any of the references in that story...

It amused me though.
Yes, it's wrong to generalize but around here, at least, there do seem to be a sizable minority of BMW and Audi drivers who regularly live up to the reputations they have earned. The last two occasions I have witnessed dangerous driving were both Audi drivers (the most recent only this morning) which makes me wonder if the BMW owners are in danger of losing their crown!
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Old 9th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Back in the day it was Ford Cortina drivers, then Peugeot and VW Golf drivers before they all became BMW and Audi drivers.

I think it all boils down to which manufacturers offer the best deals and tax breaks for sales reps and suchlike, and which cars said reps want to be seen driving.
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Old 10th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

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Originally Posted by Naughty Nigel View Post
Back in the day it was Ford Cortina drivers, then Peugeot and VW Golf drivers before they all became BMW and Audi drivers.

I think it all boils down to which manufacturers offer the best deals and tax breaks for sales reps and suchlike, and which cars said reps want to be seen driving.
I must admit I've been guilty in my time of driving a Ford Cortina and a Vauxhall Cavalier!
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Old 10th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

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Originally Posted by Zuiko View Post
I must admit I've been guilty in my time of driving a Ford Cortina and a Vauxhall Cavalier!

Me too, and the Cortina was one of the worst cars I've ever driven. It took forever to get it started in the winter, and if you needed to brake suddenly you never knew whether you'd end up in the hedge or the oncoming traffic. I had a BMW 525i hire car for a few days once as well, the tail would twitch like a fish's as soon as you touched the throttle, the driver's seat was like a park bench and the engine whined incessantly and annoyingly. I've never had a Ford or a BMW since. But quite the very worst car I have ever driven was a Datsun 280 (I think, or maybe a 300). It was a great barge of a thing with no go, which was as well as it wouldn't steer or stop either. It was the big boss's car too!
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Old 13th July 2019
tonyfromalnwick tonyfromalnwick is offline
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Guess who's close to pulling the trigger on a shiney new X1 ! I hope mine has indicators fitted, as the majority of them seem to be without.
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  #12  
Old 13th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

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Originally Posted by tonyfromalnwick View Post
Guess who's close to pulling the trigger on a shiney new X1 ! I hope mine has indicators fitted, as the majority of them seem to be without.
Not sure if Iíve said this before or not on here but if they are anything like the ďPile-o-Shite(Tm)Ē ones fitted to my last two Miniís then I can understand why people donít indicate! They are afraid that if they try to cancel them they will end up indicating the other way so will cancel again and thus start off a whole chain of indicating left then right then left again etc.
Worst designed indicator stalk mechanism Iíve ever had the misfortune to use (and Iíve used a lot over the years). Never ever had an issue until my first Mini in 2009. Owned an Audi once (TT) that was fine so thereís no excuse for Audi drivers other than sheer ignorance or laziness.
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Old 13th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zuiko View Post
Yes, it's wrong to generalize but around here, at least, there do seem to be a sizable minority of BMW and Audi drivers who regularly live up to the reputations they have earned. The last two occasions I have witnessed dangerous driving were both Audi drivers (the most recent only this morning) which makes me wonder if the BMW owners are in danger of losing their crown!
I have a friend, who as a child had a tricycle. If we had a race on our bikes to the farm gates, he always had to beat everyone else through those gates. Last year he offered me his M4 at a significantly reduced price. The need for speed and being the one in front is something he has never lost, he has always been a winner. I thought, you dont buy a BMW to drive slow. I decided to decline his very kind offer.
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Old 13th July 2019
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Bikie John Bikie John is offline
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Let's recycle an old general-purpose joke which in the past has been used about BMW drivers, among many others:

Q: What is the difference between a porcupine and the Houses of Parliament?

A; A porcupine's pricks are on the outside.

John (It's OK, I'm just getting my coat....)
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Old 13th July 2019
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Re: A day in the diary of a BMW driver

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bikie John View Post
Let's recycle an old general-purpose joke which in the past has been used about BMW drivers, among many others:

Q: What is the difference between a porcupine and the Houses of Parliament?

A; A porcupine's pricks are on the outside.
Strangely Iím finding that as I get older that is so true and applies to whichever party they currently claim to be a member of, every last one of them.
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