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Old 15th September 2010
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Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

Hi All

Well, a time of extreme mixed emotions has finally arrived for me, and I am not coping well. Thousands have been there before me, and thousands more will follow I am certain - but that just doesn't make it any easier. I have to say, I am struggling with this. Of course I am delighted and excited for him for his new adventure, but I already feel the pain of his imminent departure.

Lloyd, the apple of my eye, is tomorrow morning, flying out to Egypt to start work. Yes, it's only a year - but he has a one way ticket (train and plane), and has no idea when he will be back.

We have hopes and dreams for our kids, and though he won't get rich doing what he's going to be doing, he has the opportunity to become a much richer person I am certain of that.

I knew this time would come, I knew that it is an inevitable consequence of having kids; but looking back, I guess I didn't actually prepare myself for it at all and now that it's here, well I am quite the wreck.

Happy for Lloyd of course, and I am doing everything I can to help add to his excitement; but me... well... inside I am in shreds, total shreds.

May not be about much over the next week or so.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

You'll get over it. It's all to Lloyds benefit, which is what you've been working towards.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

Yep you're right Stephen - it is all for Lloyds benefit and is what we've been working for... but there's other factors (as always, & my apologies for not wishing to go into these atm) that add significantly to the overall picture and only increase the stress levels.

I won't get over it until he's back I'm afraid.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

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Originally Posted by theMusicMan View Post
Yep you're right Stephen - it is all for Lloyds benefit and is what we've been working for... but there's other factors (as always, & my apologies for not wishing to go into these atm) that add significantly to the overall picture and only increase the stress levels.

I won't get over it until he's back I'm afraid.
We all go through it, John, though knowing that is not much help to you. Why not plan a visit to Egypt in a couple of month's time so you have something to look forward to? Indeed, why not several visits?! Just think of all the photos you could take and post them here for us to see, enjoy and to be envious of you.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

Going through the same with my only daughter going off to uni this weekend and she's only going to Worcester.
I much more nervous than she is and can't relex at all.Still Egypt is a lot further than that.

Out of interest what's he going to do in Egypt?
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

John, as a parent myself you have my heartfelt sympathy but you do need to be strong, for Lloyd and the rest of your family. As you know I have met Lloyd, he is a fine young man, confident, well spoken, very intelligent and with a great personality. I'm sure that this represents a fantastic opportunity and experience for him that will enrich the rest of his life. No wonder you are proud - no wonder you will miss him.

I know there may well come a time when I experience the same heartache and mixed emotions. Freya has just started Year 7 at a new school and is growing up fast. For several years now she has had a strong interest in archaeology, with a particular interest in Egyptology. She has a shelf of books on the subject and avidly watches any TV program remotely connected with it. Several years ago we had to take her to the Tutankhamun exhibition at the O2 Arena. Her dream is to one day work in Egypt.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BobS View Post
We all go through it, John, though knowing that is not much help to you. Why not plan a visit to Egypt in a couple of month's time so you have something to look forward to? Indeed, why not several visits?! Just think of all the photos you could take and post them here for us to see, enjoy and to be envious of you.
Thanks Bob. We are already planning our next trip - at Christmas time - and it is indeed something to look forward to. We've only recently come back from a wonderful holiday out there - if you're interested, the pics are here: www.reflectingme.com/sharm

Quote:
Originally Posted by andym View Post
Going through the same with my only daughter going off to uni this weekend and she's only going to Worcester.
I much more nervous than she is and can't relex at all.Still Egypt is a lot further than that.

Out of interest what's he going to do in Egypt?
Hi Andy - yep, it's a draned long way away, and the fact that I am unable to just get into the car and be with him within the hour is what concerns me, you see Lloyd doesn't cope well with 'issues' or when things don't go according to plan. Anyway, he's going to be working for a local businessman who is setting up a travel/tourist shop in Sharm. He already has an established business organising trips in and around Egypt from Sharm; as well as a similar business in Dubai. He also has some lovely 2 bed apts on a smashing resort that he rents out to holidaymakers. Lloyd will be doing all sorts; from accompanying clients on trips, setting up the travel www site, setting up the shop, manning the shop, selling trips... lots of variety.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zuiko View Post
John, as a parent myself you have my heartfelt sympathy but you do need to be strong, for Lloyd and the rest of your family. As you know I have met Lloyd, he is a fine young man, confident, well spoken, very intelligent and with a great personality. I'm sure that this represents a fantastic opportunity and experience for him that will enrich the rest of his life. No wonder you are proud - no wonder you will miss him.

I know there may well come a time when I experience the same heartache and mixed emotions. Freya has just started Year 7 at a new school and is growing up fast. For several years now she has had a strong interest in archaeology, with a particular interest in Egyptology. She has a shelf of books on the subject and avidly watches any TV program remotely connected with it. Several years ago we had to take her to the Tutankhamun exhibition at the O2 Arena. Her dream is to one day work in Egypt.
John - what smashing words that have made me very proud, thank you.

In summary folks, thanks to you for your kind words.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

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Originally Posted by theMusicMan View Post
Lloyd will be doing all sorts; from accompanying clients on trips, setting up the travel www site, setting up the shop, manning the shop, selling trips... lots of variety.
That doesn't sound like work, John! It's an extended holiday and I wouldn't mind a year doing that myself (if I were Lloyd's age again) I did my National Service in Egypt and Malta in the RAF and I believe I was more worried about my parents than they were about me and I sent food parcels and presents home for them .
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

Your words moved me. Don't know exactly why, but the love for your son is so obvious. I am sure that every loving parent will think the way you do. Although my sons are still too young to leave the house, it is a fact that in a few years they will and I already hate the thought of it. Everybody says that you will have to get over it -and o.k., in time you will-, but that doesn't make it easier at the moment when it happens. I remember my best friend marrying a man in the UK about 25 years ago, she went to Bristol to live with him and I missed her so. A letter every two weeks - the daily talk on the phone was too expensive - and that was all. Not being able to go there for just a short visit with the Channel in between made it difficult. I hope that it is a comfort, that in today's world things have changed a lot. The means of communication are much better than years ago: internet, e-mail, digital photos, Skype etc. Despite the fact that your son will be far away, he will be close and he will be able to keep you informed of his life in Egypt easily (and the other way around). Given the loving relationship you so obviously have, no doubt he will do so. I wish you all the best, John.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

John
I don't know whether to be sad for you or jealous. I have two sons the youngest is 24 on Thursday. I packed them off to Uni with a lot of sadness only to see them return. Neither is able to move out as it is still too costly London & South East. I am sure when the day comes I will feel like you but also like you realise it is something that has to come. The only way any of us can deal with it is smile, help and hide the griping feeling in the stomache.

The only sensible comment I remember about having kids was a friend's pregnant daughter asked her mother "When does the morning sickness stop?" Her mother replied: "When they are 35."

My only real advice is - be proud.

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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

We have two sons. One went to war in Iraq, then worked in London before, last week, emigrating to Oz. The second had a lot of trouble as a teenager, then went to Sheffield Uni and is now in a good job in Weybridge.

All we feel is pride and joy that they were able to do that. No guilt, no empty-nest syndrome, just relief that, despite all that has happened to them both, we brought them up well enough for them to spread their wings.
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Old 15th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

John,

My eldest daughter has been in Oz for the last two months working at a girls boarding school as a teaching assitant in her gap year. We didn't think she would go, but she's there and everyday is agony for ma and pa... but she is enjoying it and is benefitting from the experience. She returns next year having got her place at Sheffield; we know she'll never be the same again - little girl all grown up.

Anyway, just to let you know we know how you feel.

Graydon


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Old 16th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

Thank you all for your kind comments.

Well... that's it... he's gone...! Just back from seeing him onto the train and waving goodbye. I have to say, it was, without a shadow of a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever done.
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Old 16th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

I'm dreading the day this happens. My eldest has plans for a career in the RAF as a pilot, (missed the intake last year by 1 mark) and on one hand I'm so proud of him, but on the other there is so much worry.

I hope I can be as strong as you seem to be when my time comes!
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Old 16th September 2010
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Re: Sad times for me... happy, but very sad - my lad starts a new life!

John I feel for you, perhaps itís not quite the same but our eldest is off to Uni this weekend and I know the wifeís starting to miss him already (note to self, take box of tissues)Ö.we parents are a bunch of worriers arenít we!
I take a wider view, looking back on my own experience at that age I believe that itís a good thing to get these young men out into the big wide world either on a gap year full of adventure or Uni where they can get to grips with further education.
Whatever they do it will stand them in good stead and will hopefully galvanise them for their lives ahead.
Perhaps you need to get yourself an E5 sooner rather than later, it might just divert your mind for a while
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