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The lounge Relax, take a break from photo and camera talk - have a chat about something else for a change. Just keep it clean and polite!

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  #1  
Old 12th March 2010
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ardvorlich ardvorlich is offline
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O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

Brilliant............................Take time to read this, as it is very clever.
This was originally shown on BBC TV, back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker
could say all this without a snigger (though heaven knows how many
takes.) The irony is that the BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery was too overwhelming for the whining hordes.
Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read.


This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.


Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
shot.


At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were
right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge and the other was called
Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.

The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.


Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and

six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks.

The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise
there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing
with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve.


"Mist all chucking frighty" said Rindercella, and she ran out, tripping barse over ollocks,

dropping her slass glipper. The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door
and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince.

"Blame that fugly ucker over there!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper
on both the sugly isters without success, and their feet stucking funk.

Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
halls and a hig bard on.

He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married.
The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella
lived hers with a follen swanny."

Cheers Iain
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Old 12th March 2010
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Re: O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

It is amazing that it was not picked up on at the time. Superbly written and typical of the man.
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Old 12th March 2010
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Zuiko Zuiko is offline
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Re: O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

He must have gone to Bing's Bollege Bambridge, silly bunt. (Any Monty Python fans out there?)
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Old 12th March 2010
gno
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Re: O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

Iain,

You may also like this if you haven't already read it.

Tendjewberrymud...

It's amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...

Read aloud for best results. "Tendjewberrymud" Be warned, you're going to find yourself talking "funny" for a while after reading this.
The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the FarEast Economic Review...
Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service"
RS: "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den?...pry, boy, pooch?
G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine."
RS : "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.
Yes,an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?"
G: "Sorry?"
RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem,tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say"
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome."

Regards

Gavin
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Old 12th March 2010
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Re: O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

Excellent

Iain
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Old 12th March 2010
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Re: O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

Ha ha! Eyev haddach saw tov converse aytion wiva callsenter!
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Old 12th March 2010
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Re: O.K. this time Ronnie Barker script

Ain't that the truth.

Iain
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