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Old 11th January 2008
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Re: Tourist questions

Originally Posted by Haisbro View Post
Also in Oz I have also seen posted copies of a flying log of pilots who report problems for ground staff to fix, and replies from somebody clearly related to above.


Pilot: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
Mechanic: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

Pilot: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Mechanic: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Pilot: Something loose in cockpit.
Mechanic: Something tightened in cockpit.

Pilot: Dead bugs on windshield.
Mechanic: Live bugs on back-order.

Pilot: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
Mechanic: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Pilot: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Mechanic: Evidence removed.

Pilot: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Mechanic: DME volume set to more believable level.

Pilot: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Mechanic: That's what they're for.

Pilot: I.F.F. inoperative in O.F.F. mode.
Mechanic: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Pilot: Suspected crack in windshield.
Mechanic: Suspect you're right.

Pilot: Number 3 engine missing.
Mechanic: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Pilot: Aircraft handles funny.
Mechanic: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right & be serious.

Pilot: Target radar hums.
Mechanic: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Pilot: Mouse in cockpit.
Mechanic: Cat installed.

Pilot: Noise coming from under instrument panel, sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Mechanic: Took hammer away from midget.
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