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The lounge Relax, take a break from photo and camera talk - have a chat about something else for a change. Just keep it clean and polite!

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  #1  
Old 23rd June 2012
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Order In The Court

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Wally For This Useful Post:
Andel (24th June 2012), Jim Ford (23rd June 2012), Kees (23rd June 2012), kidslateinlife (24th June 2012), Shaw (24th June 2012), snaarman (24th June 2012), StephenL (23rd June 2012)
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Old 23rd June 2012
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Re: Order In The Court

Crackin Wally Thanks for sharing
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Old 23rd June 2012
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Re: Order In The Court

Thanks made all my troubles getting tapatalk to work go away.
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Old 23rd June 2012
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Re: Order In The Court

* Hilarious, thanks for sharing , *
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Old 23rd June 2012
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Re: Order In The Court

Seen it before but it still brings a wry smile
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Old 23rd June 2012
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Re: Order In The Court

Great!

I've just sent the last one to my daughter - she's a lawyer!

Jim
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Old 24th June 2012
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Re: Order In The Court

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Ford View Post
Great!

I've just sent the last one to my daughter - she's a lawyer!

Jim
So is my wife - and she's still laughing.
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