View Full Version : Shrove Tuesday

5th March 2019, 09:25 PM
Three men got talking in a bar.

After a while, one said to another "What's your name?"

"George" he said, "because I was born on St Georges day"

George turns to the second guy and says "What's your name?"

The second Guy says "Patrick .... because I was born on St Patricks day"

Patrick turns to the third guy and says "What's your name?"

The third guy shyly says "Pancake"

The old ones are the best :D

Hope you've had yours (pancakes, that is) :)

Any more topical jokes?

Jim Ford
6th March 2019, 10:41 AM
A bit more risque:

A Native American boy asked his father:

Boy: "Father, how are we given our names?"

Father: "When babies are born, we look out of the teepee for a sign in nature. For instance, when your sister was born I looked out and saw a beautiful rainbow, which is why we call her 'Rainbow-in-the Sky'. Why do you ask 'Two-Dogs-F*****g?"

More seriously, my late father-in-law was born on November 5th and was given the middle name 'Guy'.


Naughty Nigel
6th March 2019, 10:13 PM
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are raking the yard.

The 6 year old asks, "You know what? I think it's about time we started learning to cuss."The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old continues,"When we go in for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass."

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios.

He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up,and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit,slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can stay there until I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbered, "but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!" :D