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pandora
29th July 2018, 12:07 AM
*idea*idea*idea
In my advancing years Im hoping to pick up one of these cheap at a military disposals store, attach wheels and a battery driven motor
converting it to a disabled persons vehicle. There are lots of decrepit old guys in wheelchairs riding about town,
no fees or licence plates required. In a dangerous traffic situation it could give me quite a lift. *upsided

http://e-group.uk.net/gallery/data/500/P8010013.jpg (http://egroup.uk.net/gallery/showphoto.php/photo/99802)

Beagletorque
29th July 2018, 07:31 AM
You might want to adjust the spelling or people will think you'll be wacking off as you go!

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

pandora
29th July 2018, 09:46 AM
The intended sense is an organism being ejaculated from a metal body, in this context a wheelchair. *shrug *yes

Jim Ford
29th July 2018, 09:53 AM
My partner sometimes likes to use a wheelchair, where one is provided at an event eg Kew Gardens. I make her pay for it though by occasionally saying to her "are you dry, dear?"!

She doesn't mind.

Jim

Naughty Nigel
29th July 2018, 11:22 AM
Interesting.

Many Jags and Aston Martins are fitted with ejection seats as standard as one would expect from performance cars.

However, something must have been lost in the translation to German because Audis and BMW's are all fitted with ejaculation seats. :D

This was confirmed by the hand signal that I saw used by a BMW driver only last week when he was held up by a Learner. I think his name was Richard Head. :rolleyes:

MJ224
29th July 2018, 11:40 AM
Wouldn't know if you were coming or going....*zzz*zzz

KeithL
29th July 2018, 02:16 PM
Interesting.

Many Jags and Aston Martins are fitted with ejection seats as standard as one would expect from performance cars.

However, something must have been lost in the translation to German because Audis and BMW's are all fitted with ejaculation seats. :D


No, they aren't - they are fitted with evacuation seats. (On the passenger side and in the back, anyway...) ;)

pandora
30th July 2018, 01:41 AM
Thanks guys, I love the way you picked up this risque thread and ran with it.

Top Comic prize for his villainous wit goes to John! :D

Beagletorque
30th July 2018, 04:12 PM
I think Ian is very grateful for the extra "traffic" visiting the site from browser searches!

Harold Gough
30th July 2018, 06:13 PM
Interesting.

Many Jags and Aston Martins are fitted with ejection seats as standard as one would expect from performance cars.

However, something must have been lost in the translation to German because Audis and BMW's are all fitted with ejaculation seats. :D

This was confirmed by the hand signal that I saw used by a BMW driver only last week when he was held up by a Learner. I think his name was Richard Head. :rolleyes:

Don't they have an extra large horn to warn when they are coming?

Harold

KeithL
30th July 2018, 06:32 PM
Don't they have an extra large horn to warn when they are coming?

Harold

Nope - that is illegal nowadays. The legal limit, IIRC, is 97dBA. Very loud, but a horn is only a warning of approach.

Blimey, you'll be saying they must have a bloke in front with a rd flag next...! :D:D

EDIT: just looked it up. There is no actual maximum, but when I was at work, I believe it was 97 dBA. The minimum is 83 dBA. But it must not be so loud as to be strident or cause problems to other road users.

Naughty Nigel
30th July 2018, 07:23 PM
Nope - that is illegal nowadays. The legal limit, IIRC, is 97dBA. Very loud, but a horn is only a warning of approach.

Blimey, you'll be saying they must have a bloke in front with a rd flag next...! :D:D

EDIT: just looked it up. There is no actual maximum, but when I was at work, I believe it was 97 dBA. The minimum is 83 dBA. But it must not be so loud as to be strident or cause problems to other road users.

In any case, it is illegal to come after 11.00 pm or before 7.00 am in a built up area. ;)

Beagletorque
30th July 2018, 08:17 PM
Don't they have an extra large horn to warn when they are coming?

Harold

No, that's just a driver perception thing. Passengers often comment to the contrary.

KeithL
31st July 2018, 10:00 AM
Usual thing with Beemers and Audis is to drive so close up behind that you think they are unbolting your rear bumper! And the faster you're going, the closer they are behind you...!:eek:

Naughty Nigel
31st July 2018, 10:38 AM
Usual thing with Beemers and Audis is to drive so close up behind that you think they are unbolting your rear bumper! And the faster you're going, the closer they are behind you...!:eek:

I really don't have that problem when driving the Jag. :D

There is a well documented fault in Jags whereby the image in the rear view mirrors becomes progressively smaller as the right hand pedal is depressed. ;)

KeithL
31st July 2018, 10:48 AM
That's akin to putting diesel in a Honda 90 moped....

The Danes joke about Swedes: why do Volvos have daytime running lights? So that Swedes can work out which way they're moving.

And, for Nigel's benefit, from my Jaguar days: a lady bought a Mark X, brand new. At about 5 weeks old, it returned with shot engine bearings. So they changed the engine, and off she went. Another five or six weeks went by and she came back, with the exact same problem. So they changed the engine again. At the third time, they got her to drive out in the car, and went with her, to examine her driving. Every time it reached 1500 rpm, she changed up, accompanied by kangaroo petrol and heavy knocking from the engine. They asked why she drove like that. "Well", she said, "it says in the handbook that I mustn't over-rev it until it has done at least 1000 miles." Some patient explaining that, yes, but you can rev it rather harder than that! She never returned.

Otto
31st July 2018, 11:41 AM
Sign seen on a Land Rover (the original sort) next to the tow hook: "Attach X5 here".

Naughty Nigel
31st July 2018, 12:04 PM
That's akin to putting diesel in a Honda 90 moped....

The Danes joke about Swedes: why do Volvos have daytime running lights? So that Swedes can work out which way they're moving.

And, for Nigel's benefit, from my Jaguar days: a lady bought a Mark X, brand new. At about 5 weeks old, it returned with shot engine bearings. So they changed the engine, and off she went. Another five or six weeks went by and she came back, with the exact same problem. So they changed the engine again. At the third time, they got her to drive out in the car, and went with her, to examine her driving. Every time it reached 1500 rpm, she changed up, accompanied by kangaroo petrol and heavy knocking from the engine. They asked why she drove like that. "Well", she said, "it says in the handbook that I mustn't over-rev it until it has done at least 1000 miles." Some patient explaining that, yes, but you can rev it rather harder than that! She never returned.

I heard a story of an MP's wife as it happens, who drove her husband's brand new XJ 4.2 200 or so miles north to meet him. She arrived a lot more quickly than either of them expected, and the engine seemed to be rather hot.

She had been told to keep it to 50 MPH as it was 'running in', but she mistook the Rev Counter for the speedometer. :eek:

Naughty Nigel
31st July 2018, 12:41 PM
Actually I think you'll find the Palace of Westminster has several hundred of them, all used when they have a mass debate. :D

KeithL
31st July 2018, 06:21 PM
Actually I think you'll find the Palace of Westminster has several hundred of them, all used when they have a mass debate. :D

And one who isn't even eligible for his! (Shh, don't tell Theresa Mary)

Jim Ford
8th August 2018, 12:23 PM
Nope - that is illegal nowadays. The legal limit, IIRC, is 97dBA. Very loud, but a horn is only a warning of approach.

Blimey, you'll be saying they must have a bloke in front with a rd flag next...! :D:D

EDIT: just looked it up. There is no actual maximum, but when I was at work, I believe it was 97 dBA. The minimum is 83 dBA. But it must not be so loud as to be strident or cause problems to other road users.

On a serious note. I've often wondered if the young people with high powered sound systems in their cars can hear the horns of other drivers. I'm a believer in that you need all your senses to safely drive a car, including hearing.

Jim

KeithL
11th August 2018, 04:31 PM
On a serious note. I've often wondered if the young people with high powered sound systems in their cars can hear the horns of other drivers. I'm a believer in that you need all your senses to safely drive a car, including hearing.

Jim

of course not! What's a horn anyway?:D:D

Beagletorque
11th August 2018, 05:43 PM
What's a horn anyway?:D:D

You need one if you want the ejaculation chair to work properly.

KeithL
12th August 2018, 10:41 AM
Actually I think you'll find the Palace of Westminster has several hundred of them, all used when they have a mass debate. :D

I take it you mean when there are more than 30 MPs actually in the House...? :D