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Wally
24th March 2016, 09:00 PM
As Mr. Smith was on his deathbed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him.

He called for the three men he trusted most - his solicitor, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each 30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me."

All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside.

While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took 10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put 20,000 in the coffin."

The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full 30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost 20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used 20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that."

The solicitor then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal cheque for the full 30,000."

Wee man
24th March 2016, 10:30 PM
Nice one up to usual high standard.

Harold Gough
25th March 2016, 09:26 PM
The solicitor then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal cheque for the full 30,000."

Plus an invoice for 100 for sealing the envelope?

Harold

Naughty Nigel
25th March 2016, 11:06 PM
Is it a coincidence that most politicians are lawyers? :)

Naughty Nigel
25th March 2016, 11:12 PM
Plus an invoice for 100 for sealing the envelope?

Harold

You have a point there Harold.

I submit expert witness reports to lawyers as PDF files with attachments. These often extend to 200 pages or more.

The lawyers then print off my reports (and attachments) before sending them back to me, all at the client's expense!

In the good old days when I submitted paper reports they used to photocopy them and send the copies back to me. :)