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View Full Version : Computer Control: A Cautionary Tale


Harold Gough
18th March 2016, 08:33 PM
A friend is very much into electronic gadgets. When he saw a rare model of Audi up for sale he bought it.

it is a monster, 3L engine and a body so long it overhangs parking spaces by about two feet. Above all, it is computer-controlled.

When he first got it he had pages of instructions laid out all over the place and was studying them intently before he even got into the car. (It was delivered to his home).

Today, we were to meet, to form a foursome for lunch, after he attended a local hospital for an important appointment. They live about a forty minute drive away.

As the appointment time got closer, we received a rather distressed call from his wife, concerned that he could not get the car started.

Over lunch, we were told what had happened. The car proximity detector parking aid would not let him start the engine in the vehicle's parked location, It seems that he managed to disable it.

Harold

Crazy Dave
18th March 2016, 08:44 PM
I'm told that the Lexus manual runs to nearly 700 pages.

David

drmarkf
19th March 2016, 08:23 AM
If it keeps just one grossly huge Audi SUV off the road it will have achieved its purpose as far as I'm concerned.

*yes

Harold Gough
19th March 2016, 08:28 AM
If it keeps just one grossly huge Audi SUV off the road it will have achieved its purpose as far as I'm concerned.

*yes

It's not an SUV, a saloon with a touch of stretch.

Harold

drmarkf
19th March 2016, 09:12 AM
Minor technicality!

Harold Gough
19th March 2016, 09:28 AM
Minor technicality!

Not really, an SUV would not be easily convertible into a decent-looking hearse.

A 3 litre hearse would be dead quick!

Harold

Wee man
19th March 2016, 09:52 AM
Was sitting at 120 kph on M1 on way to Dublin and was passed by an empty hearse as if I was stopped!

mstphoto
19th March 2016, 10:08 AM
I drive a KIA Sportage which I class as big enough but parked next to an Audi Q7, its tiny :D

Mike

mstphoto
19th March 2016, 10:11 AM
An ex work colleague had a part time job with a Funeral Director.
He got done for driving the hearse while under the influence after drinking too much sherbets at the wake :D :D :D

Mike

Harold Gough
19th March 2016, 10:28 AM
An ex work colleague had a part time job with a Funeral Director.
He got done for driving the hearse while under the influence after drinking too much sherbets at the wake :D :D :D

Mike

You mean, too many stiff drinks?

Harold

mstphoto
19th March 2016, 10:38 AM
You mean, too many stiff drinks?

Harold

*chr *chr *chr

George Dorn
19th March 2016, 09:41 PM
A 3 litre hearse would be dead quick!

Harold

reminds me of Harold and Maude :D

Wee man
19th March 2016, 11:16 PM
Surely to many drinks with the stiff ?

Harold Gough
20th March 2016, 07:37 AM
He got done for driving the hearse while under the influence after drinking too much sherbets at the wake :D :D :D

Mike

A wake-up call? :D

Harold

Grumpy Hec
20th March 2016, 05:36 PM
As long as he wasn't dead drunk

OM USer
21st March 2016, 12:36 PM
Its a grave mistake to drink with undertakers.

Harold Gough
21st March 2016, 01:13 PM
Its a grave mistake to drink with undertakers.

Are you having a dig at them?

Harold

shenstone
22nd March 2016, 07:04 PM
I drive a KIA Sportage which I class as big enough but parked next to an Audi Q7, its tiny :D

Mike
I can park next to an Audi Q7 and make it look small if you want me to

In actuality they are the same length and nearly the same width as my ambulance/camper, but in height we've got them beaten hands down

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jXFQkN7ivpI/UgvsHaKmLYI/AAAAAAAABNA/lP3hQVPZarM/s1600/alps29.jpg