View Full Version : Weapons of Maths Destruction

Naughty Nigel

19th January 2016, 12:00 PM

A secondary school teacher from Guildford was arrested on Saturday morning at London's Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator.

At a press conference, a Metropolitan Police Anti-Terror spokesman said they believe the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the spokesman said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.' They use secret code names like "X" and "Y" and refer to themselves as "unknowns"; but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, "There are three sides to every triangle."

When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister David Cameron said , "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

Meanwhile Labour spokeswoman Harriet Harmon told reporters she could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister.

Zuiko

19th January 2016, 12:11 PM

Brilliant! :D

Imageryone

19th January 2016, 12:14 PM

Made I smile , also :D

Wee man

19th January 2016, 01:22 PM

This could add up to an attack using prime numbers which would multiply the dividend resulting in a division of the quotation given as an end result even if only a fraction of the associative property were to become the main derivative resulting in a Format prime relating to knot theory we would find a Julian theory leading to Pascal's triangle forcing platonic solids linked to generating prime numbers. Then where would we be?

Only by the use of real numbers and Riemannian geometry can transcendental numbers be generated using good old Zermelo- Fraenkel set theory to generate an algorithm high enough to have binomial coefficients in the calculus of variantions to give the definitively high cardinal number to allow Cartesian coordinates to give a sufficiently high composite number to cancel the prime number you started with even though there is no correlation using deductive reasoning or logic to prove the Diophantine equation?

Naughty Nigel

19th January 2016, 03:01 PM

This could add up to an attack using prime numbers which would multiply the dividend resulting in a division of the quotation given as an end result even if only a fraction of the associative property were to become the main derivative resulting in a Format prime relating to knot theory we would find a Julian theory leading to Pascal's triangle forcing platonic solids linked to generating prime numbers. Then where would we be?

Only by the use of real numbers and Riemannian geometry can transcendental numbers be generated using good old Zermelo- Fraenkel set theory to generate an algorithm high enough to have binomial coefficients in the calculus of variantions to give the definitively high cardinal number to allow Cartesian coordinates to give a sufficiently high composite number to cancel the prime number you started with even though there is no correlation using deductive reasoning or logic to prove the Diophantine equation?

^^^ WHS ^^^ to the power of 42 :D

I'm not sure what was worse at school: algebra, quadratic equations or geometry. *???

Zuiko

19th January 2016, 03:58 PM

^^^ WHS ^^^ to the power of 42 :D

I'm not sure what was worse at school: algebra, quadratic equations or geometry. *???

It doesn't really matter, I've had absolutely no use for any of them since I left school. :D

Wee man

19th January 2016, 04:08 PM

Yes John and if we had known that we could just have sat and smiled sweetly, rather than trying to understand.

Naughty Nigel

19th January 2016, 04:09 PM

I think an understanding of f stops and reciprocity law failure would have been far more useful (and interesting). :)

Zuiko

19th January 2016, 04:16 PM

I think an understanding of f stops and reciprocity law failure would have been far more useful (and interesting). :)

Yes, and circles of least confusion and how their size relates to apparent depth of field for different print sizes and different film/sensor formats. Okay, I guess that is more to do with physics, but a little bit of maths is involved! :D

PeterBirder

19th January 2016, 04:32 PM

This sort of thing has been going on for centuries and I believe as a result it can be proved mathematically that the Ancient Greeks discovered North America.

There were once three Indian Squaws.

One sat on a Buffalo hide.

One sat on a Moose hide.

And one sat on a Hippopotamus hide.

In the fullness of time the Squaws who sat on the Buffalo and Moose hides each had a son. The Squaw who sat on the Buffalo hide had twin sons.

Pythagoras knew this and it led him to his Theorum. *idea

"The sons of the Squaw on the Hippoptamus are equal to sum of those of the Squaws on the other two hides."

drmarkf

19th January 2016, 09:18 PM

Please stop now.

:D

pandora

19th January 2016, 09:30 PM

One of the best humorous skits I've read in a long time!

Bikie John

20th January 2016, 10:43 AM

One of those newspapers belonging to that nice Mr. Murdoch tried to patent a regular wave function. They were going to call it A Sine Of The Times.

John

crashmonster

20th January 2016, 11:12 AM

With regard to maths, there are 3 types of people, those who can do sums and those who can't

Ricoh

20th January 2016, 12:03 PM

A fine "product" of wit, NN (or should I refer to you as N squared) !!

The "division" between Labour and Conservative is always apparent, although HH (let's call her H squared) is "at the limit" of self expression on this occasion ! Clearly a "function" of Jeremy's influence !

Naughty Nigel

20th January 2016, 12:13 PM

One of those newspapers belonging to that nice Mr. Murdoch tried to patent a regular wave function. They were going to call it A Sine Of The Times.

John

I don't have a Log of that, maybe Cos I wasn't paying attention.

Or was it some kind of Trig (trick)? :confused::D

Graham_of_Rainham

20th January 2016, 04:28 PM

Looks and sounds like a load of old BODMAS to me... ;)

Bikie John

20th January 2016, 04:53 PM

I don't have a Log of that, maybe Cos I wasn't paying attention.

Or was it some kind of Trig (trick)? :confused::D

Cosh him somebody :D

John

Ricoh

20th January 2016, 06:27 PM

Cosh him somebody :D

John

I though he has taking a sinh (shine) to you!

PeterBirder

20th January 2016, 08:39 PM

Mirroring the so called "Real (sad) World" this "Virtual" thread seems to have been usurped by the even more extreme Mathematical Pundit Front (MPF).:eek:

Naughty Nigel

20th January 2016, 09:14 PM

Cosh him somebody :D

John

I'll Tan your backside laddy! :D

(Words I heard uttered many, many times by our Maths teacher. :o )

maccabeej

21st January 2016, 08:33 AM

I'm sorry this thread is descending into Chaos. There must be a butterfly somewhere.

Ricoh

21st January 2016, 09:21 AM

... thread is descending into Chaos

It's just a theory :)

Wee man

21st January 2016, 11:19 AM

Ah But how did you work that out, and can you prove your answer?

Ricoh

21st January 2016, 11:28 AM

Ah But how did you work that out, and can you prove your answer?

Send me a fag packet, and I'll post it by return! :)

Graham_of_Rainham

21st January 2016, 02:14 PM

There are "times" when the "product" of the comments are "greater than" the "sum".

"Balancing" both sides of the "argument" often "tends" towards "division" among the "rankings" but "equality" is often a "determinate" of the "MOD"

On "average" most lounge threads "mean" well...

*chr

Ricoh

21st January 2016, 02:47 PM

Sometimes the 'reciprocal' is true, sometimes 'inequality' but often 'convergence' as we 'integrate' in 'order' not to 'differentiate'.