View Full Version : Any golfers here?

11th January 2016, 08:55 AM
I'm not either, but I have a friend who is and he often sends me golfing jokes and "witty" remarks. There seems to be endless humour about the game; given the way most amateurs play I guess if they couldn't see the funny side they'd go mad. Anyway, here's the latest batch.........

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer..

Golf - You hit down to make the ball go up.You swing left and the ball goes right.The lowest score wins, on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

If you find you do not mind playing Golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip ......... Your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well.

An interesting thing about Golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green.The next day you go out and for no reason at all your game really stinks!

If your best shots are the practice swing and the 'gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.


Senior's day

Personally, I tend to agree with Mark Twain that golf is a good walk spoiled. :D

Wee man
11th January 2016, 12:53 PM
If I want to lose a golf ball I just throw it away.

Grumpy Hec
11th January 2016, 06:04 PM
As Mark Twain said

"Golf is a good walk ruined"

I say Mark Twain as conventional wisdom says it is his quote. Some however attribute it to Winston Churchill. Whoever said it however the point holds true.