PDA

View Full Version : Men's Help Line


Zuiko
16th December 2015, 09:02 PM
"Hello, You have reached the 'Men's Help Line.' My name is Ken. How can I help you?"

"Hi Ken, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs; The phone rings and when I answer the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with 'the girls' a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep.

Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So I hid in the garage behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her handbag and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

Naughty Nigel
16th December 2015, 09:24 PM
Glad to see you have your priorities right John. :)

Graham_of_Rainham
16th December 2015, 10:13 PM
What a wally. It has to be replaced, as welding casting hardly ever works as a long term fix...:D

Zuiko
16th December 2015, 11:41 PM
What a wally. It has to be replaced, as welding casting hardly ever works as a long term fix...:D

I guess that's what the help line is for! :D

Naughty Nigel
17th December 2015, 09:26 AM
I would agree with Graham that it would be better to replace the cracked aluminium casting. Welding is possible if the crack is recent and corrosion hasn't set in, but you wouldn't want to risk losing the outboard when out fishing would you? :)

Whilst the bracket is being repaired it would be worth having the spark plugs and gearbox oil changed, and the propeller checked for damage or distortion which often happens in shallow waters.

Overall I really think John should keep a closer eye on his boat, and should carry out more regular maintenance on her; then he won't have to worry about what his wife is up to when he's out fishing. :D

alfbranch
17th December 2015, 11:42 AM
John needs to stop worrying about the wife is up and get that bracket sorted ASAP.

Wally
17th December 2015, 12:36 PM
One has to admire a man, any man who has his priorities right. After all, there are priorities and then, 'there are priorities'.