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Zuiko
1st December 2015, 09:12 AM
God looked down...

and saw that most seniors never get enough exercise. In His infinite wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search ​f​or their glasses, keys, and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good..

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.



Here are some important facts to remember as we grow older:-

* Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

* Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

* Old Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

* Health nuts are going to feel really stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

* All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

* In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

* Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.

pandora
1st December 2015, 10:16 PM
That explains everything I've been puzzled about, John.

Many, many thanks!

snaarman
1st December 2015, 10:52 PM
Doh. I was going to write a witty reply,

but its gone...

David M
2nd December 2015, 12:42 AM
What's in the sandwich?

Zuiko
2nd December 2015, 01:06 AM
What's in the sandwich?

It doesn't matter, you won't remember!

David M
2nd December 2015, 01:23 AM
It doesn't matter, you won't remember!

Won't remember what?

Zuiko
2nd December 2015, 01:45 AM
Won't remember what?

I don't know. It couldn't have been important, let's go for a pint.

David M
2nd December 2015, 02:04 AM
I don't know. It couldn't have been important, let's go for a pint.

You'll have to wait until I find some trousers. Oh, and.some shoes, and my wallet.

IanB
2nd December 2015, 02:17 AM
being dead is not a problem; getting dead seems the real problem

Buggered if know; I'm allowed to go and sit on a hard smelly dunny when I feel the time is right so why can't I go and sit in the lovely soft clouds when I feel the time is right :confused:

Zuiko
2nd December 2015, 10:21 AM
being dead is not a problem; getting dead seems the real problem

Buggered if know; I'm allowed to go and sit on a hard smelly dunny when I feel the time is right so why can't I go and sit in the lovely soft clouds when I feel the time is right :confused:

I know what you mean, Ian, but I take comfort from the knowledge that I'm at least three quarters of the way there!

Naughty Nigel
2nd December 2015, 05:57 PM
Ahhah. *idea. So did God also arrange for Seniors to have Bus Passes and Rail Cards to lose when they are most needed, so providing additional exercise and stimulating the brain to remember where they were put?

Imageryone
2nd December 2015, 07:46 PM
" Personal Experience "

A heart attack is Gods way of getting you back in the gym *yes;):):)

IanB
3rd December 2015, 12:11 AM
I know what you mean, Ian, but I take comfort from the knowledge that I'm at least three quarters of the way there!
well that you hope; and hope you are not 7/8 of the way there :eek:. But even at 7/8 you should still around to see santa again :eek: :rolleyes:

*chr

Harold Gough
3rd December 2015, 10:53 PM
What's in the sandwich?

Nothing. Forgetfulness is not gender-specific.

Harold

Crazy Dave
4th December 2015, 01:56 PM
I told my wife that I was feeling friendly. The reply, "do you want cheese or ham?"

David

IanB
4th December 2015, 10:58 PM
like all getting to that age I do my exercise routine every morning

up down up down up down; then rest -------------- now the other eye lid . Important to finish with both in down position.

IanB
4th December 2015, 11:05 PM
BTW the john; I just borrowed your first post for the aust forum I use; I promise to return it :rolleyes:; hopefully with some other wacky comments :D

Harold Gough
5th December 2015, 07:33 AM
This is true. I have just received a health supplement from an Ebay seller.

It seemed to be taking forever to arrive, so long that I had forgotten its claimed benefits. I checked back and it was for improved brain/memory function.

After some further delay, checked my order and found that I hadn't clicked the Pay button. :rolleyes:

Harold

pandora
5th December 2015, 08:49 AM
I've largely replaced the 'treddly' foot/leg exercise with the accelerator pedal.

Having a 1 digit memory means that each grocery item is another trip to the supermarket.

I just made a trip to town for a cabbage needed for tea and forgot the potatoes.

Absent-mindedness costs me at least 2K a year in petrol and lost items! Frightening. :eek: