View Full Version : How to suck eggs?

Kiwi Paul
4th September 2015, 10:08 AM
You all know the saying....

Well how do you suck eggs, no one will tell me?
I mean is it a raw egg and you hold it in your thumb and first finger put it partially in your mouth and suck, sounds risky as if you lost grip it could end up in the back of your throat and be a choking hazard, or if you held it too hard the shell may break and you would end up with a mouth full of raw egg and egg shell :eek:, so i'm guessing that's not the correct technique.

So a boiled egg, same technique as above, still risk having it lodge in the back of your throat but the broken egg is mitigated :confused:

Maybe a boiled egg with the shell removed, still a choking risk but reduced, however if you suck too hard the egg may still break apart and you would end up with broken egg white and yolk in your mouth :rolleyes:

Is there a better technique, please someone tell me how to suck eggs, I want to know *yes

I guess the real question is why would you want to suck an egg:confused:

Paul :p

4th September 2015, 10:28 AM
I will have to ask my Granny. :)

I hadn't thought about it before but it is certainly a strange saying. In the past the much reviled egg collectors would blow the contents from the eggshells, which is much easier to understand. I suppose in former, austere times people would extract the contents by sucking, which would allow them to savour the nourishing, slimy mess and then use the empty eggshell to ... um ... er ... well, there must be some use for them. :confused:


Naughty Nigel
4th September 2015, 11:53 AM
The phrase was used in the 1890s in a Punch magazine cartoon:

"You see, Grandmama, before you extract the contents of this bird's egg by suction, you must make an incision at one extremity, and a corresponding orifice at the other." Grandmama's response is to the effect, "Dearie me! And we used to just make a hole at each end."

Courtesy of Wikipedia

This reminds me of a spoof account (I hope) from the minutes of a church council meeting which went something like this:

"The Rector expressed his disappointment that Lord Bigwigs' offer to provide a crystal chandelier for St Mary's chancel had not been taken up.

The Sexton apologised, and explained that he couldn't pronounce it, the Secretary couldn't spell it, and that all they wanted was a new light so that the choir could read their hymn books. " :D

4th September 2015, 11:58 AM
1. Make at hole at each end of egg.

2. Insert straw into hole, wiggle around to break up yolk, wiggle straw that is not wiggle yourself.

3. Suck to extract contents of egg.

4. Throw up. :D


Kiwi Paul
4th September 2015, 12:03 PM
Ah, I never thought the idea was to suck the contents out, yuk.
Now I'm wiser, maybe after some more research there can be a formal lesson on the best way to do it, then we really can be taught to suck eggs :)


4th September 2015, 12:05 PM
Maybe the eggs in question are Cadbury's mini chocolate eggs and the art is to make them last longer by gently sucking them, resisting the temptation to crunch them with your teeth. Many very old Grandmothers (and Grandfathers) are naturally more adept at this than youngsters by virtue of having fewer of their own teeth! :D

4th September 2015, 12:08 PM
Many very old Grandmothers (and Grandfathers) are naturally more adept at this than youngsters by virtue of having fewer of their own teeth! :DThat's because they sucked too many cream eggs in their youth. :)


Kiwi Paul
4th September 2015, 12:14 PM
I've found it, the official guide to egg sucking, Now I'm teaching you all to suck eggs, so pay attention!!!......*zzz

How to Suck an Egg

By: M.M. O'Leary (1997)

The purpose of this exercise is to follow precise unnecessary directions issued by a higher HQ. You have been directed to be in possession of a fresh empty eggshell for no apparent reason. Simple issuance of tasks being insufficient in any anal-retentive, career-oriented, hopelessly bureaucratic military staff society, the staff of the higher HQ have issued the following instructions:

1. The Egg. Acquire an egg. An appropriately sized egg would be a chicken's egg or one similar in volume. This egg should be; a. Not too small, as a small egg might be too fragile, difficult to hold or could unexpectedly be aspirated and lead to choking; and b. Not too large, for too large an egg would require you to suck out too much material. Remember that volume increases in a cube function relationship to dimensional increases along a single axis. A goose egg twice as long as a medium chicken's egg and similar in proportion, therefore would contain about eight times as much suckable material.

2. Egg Purchase. You can pick these up by the dozen at your local grocery. If you think this operation will require practice, perhaps you should buy a full dozen. No recovery action against the Higher HQ is to be taken as a result of this purchase. Excessive purchase requirements may be submitted on the next cyclical.

3. Identification and Marking of the Ends of the Egg. Take an egg carefully in your hand, examine it and identify the smaller end. The smaller end may be identified by measuring the outside diameter one-third of the distance from each end of the egg, the end farthest from the greater cross-sectional circumference will be the "small end." This is the end upon which the sucking will occur. The other end is the large end and, therefore, will be the end furthest from you while sucking. Using a fine tipped felt marker, mark the ends of the egg now to differentiate them later without having to repeat this determination process. Mark the small end with an "S" (for small or suck) and the large end with an "O" (for the other end").

4. Piercing the Egg. Successful sucking of an egg requires that a small hole (see below for recommended sizes) is made in each end of the egg. The following guidance is provided to assist the staff officer in establishing a hole in each end of the egg:

a. Using a small pointed object (pin, pen, unfolded paperclip, staff officer's head, etc.) to make the small holes in each end of the egg

b. Make the "S" hole, through which all egg contents will flow in a short explosive journey, 5 mm in diameter;

c. Make the "O" hole, through which only air will travel, about 2 mm in diameter;

d. Place the holes at the points where the imagined line of the longitudinal axis of the egg would intersect its shell;

e. Do not use too vigorous an action or grip the egg too firmly while effecting the required piercing. Doing so might result in a crushed egg;

f. Ensure you pierce both ends of the egg. If you only pierce the large end, you will be attempting to suck the egg through its unbroken shell. If you only pierce the small end, no air can get into the egg as you suck. You could end up collapsing the egg or unexpectedly trying to swallow it. If you feel that one hole is sufficient, then ensure someone competent in the Heimlich manoeuvre is present.

5. Setting Down the Egg. Place the egg gently on your desk. You will not need it for the next step.

6. Confirming the Ability to Suck. Before actually sucking the egg, it is necessary to confirm that you know the requisite physical actions to effect sucking. Hold apiece of white bond paper vertically in front of your face such that it gently contacts the tip of your nose. Suck! If the paper does not appear to move, but only trembles slightly, you are in fact sucking. If the paper moves noticeably away from your face, you are not sucking, but blowing. This action is inappropriate. Practice sucking until you are able to do it without error. Put the sheet of paper back in the printer, or save it until the next time an egg must be sucked.

7. Picking up the Egg. Pick up the egg. Make sure you have picked up the prepared egg with the two end holes, marked "S" and "O".

8. Bringing the Egg in Contact with the Lips. Place the pierced egg against your lips, centering the "S" hole on an opening in your pursed lips. Ensure the lips are pursed or you may end up trying to brace the shell on your teeth with undesirable results.

9. Canting the Egg. Tilt the egg upwards to ensure all of the internal material tends to drain toward the lower hole in the small end of the egg.

10. Advise on Preparing to Suck. Ensure that you use an inward sucking action. Inadvertently blowing outwards will not be successful. "Blowing" could result in your workspace, or a watching fellow staff officer, being coated with albumen and yolk. You might end up with the requisite empty shell, but you have failed to follow issued direction and been left with a sticky mess. If you happen to "blow" the egg out of you grasp, you will not even be left with the empty shell.

11. Sucking the Egg. Suck!

12. What to do With a Mouthful of Albumen and Yolk. Swallow.

13. Result of the Successful Suck. If you have correctly selected your egg and followed the above instructions, you should now be left with one empty eggshell and a bad taste in your mouth.

14. After-Action Reporting and Actions. Follow the instructions at Annex A regarding the further handling of this shell and complete the form at Annex B, with info copies to G3 Higher HQ, PaffO Higher HQ and NDHQ on task completion. Submission of Annex C, Egg Sucking Report, and approval by all Higher HQs will authorize the successful staff egg-sucker to wear the "Sucker" badge in an order and position determined in accordance with the performance criteria at Appendix 1 to Annex C and place the letters "S.T.A.F.F." after their name on all correspondence.

15. The Staff Officer's Egg-Sucking Guide. Local HQ are to reformat and produce the above instructions in the form of a pocket-sized, accordion style card for individual carriage and reference. All staff officers are to be in possession of their copy of the Staff Officers Egg-Sucking card at all times when in the following orders of dress: DEU (all), Garrison Dress, Combat, PT strip, mufti, nil.

16. Higher HQ sends.

17. Watch for further issues in this series, including: "Pulling Your Head From Your Ass", "Sucking Up", and "Smoke-Sculpting and Mirror Management - A Staff Guide to Briefing the Unaware".

Staffio Insesitivitum.

4th September 2015, 12:21 PM
I just heard the thud of Edwina Currie passing out.


4th September 2015, 01:03 PM
All this sucking and swallowing is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. :rolleyes:

Kiwi Paul
4th September 2015, 01:13 PM
All this sucking and swallowing is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. :rolleyes:

"Groan" :eek::D

Wee man
4th September 2015, 01:30 PM
You should be aware that all administration staff should wear their ' I am a sucker' badge directly below but one place to the left below their yellow and white oval Blue Peter egg hunter badge. This should be in place on all days which end in a ' Y '.

4th September 2015, 02:28 PM
and here is a bird "sucking an egg"


A Mocking Bird eating a Wave Albatross egg

Wee man
4th September 2015, 02:39 PM
Is it a Grandma mocking bird.

4th September 2015, 03:13 PM
My granny used to pop a hole in both ends of the egg with a needle and stir the contents thoroughly to break the yolk up.

Then gently blow from one end. Yes blow!

Kiwi Paul
4th September 2015, 03:17 PM
My granny used to pop a hole in both ends of the egg with a needle and stir the contents thoroughly to break the yolk up.

Then gently blow from one end. Yes blow!

Why did she do that?

Naughty Nigel
4th September 2015, 03:27 PM
Why are the terms suck and blow so often confused? :confused:

Naughty Nigel
4th September 2015, 03:29 PM
I have never sucked or blown an egg, but I did one make the mistake of putting an under-boiled egg in the microwave to finish it off, so to speak.

Believe me, it was a mistake, and it was finished off! :o :D

4th September 2015, 03:54 PM
Why did she do that?
To demonstrate that you can make an omelette without breaking eggs?


4th September 2015, 04:44 PM
I've always thought it was a way of "stealing" the egg (in particular its contents) but leaving behind the intact eggshell so it wasn't obvious on causal inspection enabling you to make your escape and not get caught. It was a technique practised by the poor and penniless in days of yore.

5th September 2015, 06:13 AM
Why did she do that?

To enter painted eggs in the WI Easter competition and not waste the eggs. She was Yorkshire born and this made perfect sense and some lovely home baking!

5th September 2015, 02:38 PM
I quite liked this account:


Plus the additional answer to age old question, is given at the end... :cool:

5th September 2015, 03:57 PM
No no...!
Eggs are sucked from an egg banjo sandwich.