View Full Version : The Man Rules

flying haggis
23rd November 2007, 04:47 PM
The Man Rules

Atlast a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally,
the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear
'the rules '

From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.

Please note.. these are all numbered '1 '


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1 Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work

Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
Acolour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will
be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping!

23rd November 2007, 05:16 PM
I like the response re No.1 I thought it was very good.

You are right 'round is the shape' lol.

(just another seven pounds to lose, after Christmas of course).

Regards. Barr1e

23rd November 2007, 05:54 PM
Lol :p


24th November 2007, 10:36 AM
Quality joke

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

:D:D:D:D:D too right

24th November 2007, 02:38 PM
Spot on :D:D

30th November 2007, 07:26 PM
1 Ask for what you want.

Now I know your joking. Try and find a women who knows what they want. :D

and I mean without having to take it back or leave in the back of the wardrobe.